Episode 9: Through Grief to Peace

In this podcast episode, I talk about the feelings that accompany the death of a loved one: loss, grief, guilt, and the search for answers. My inspirations for this episode came from my own struggle with the death of my mother, and a book called "Tyson's Gift: How an 8-Pound K9 Became a Man's Greatest Spiritual Guide", by Brandon Wainwright. Learn more about Brandon and his book at https://tysonsgift.com/about.

For those who prefer a video format, see https://youtu.be/eAfBHreGnKk.

You can see more episodes and blog posts at the Spiritual But Not Religious website at https://www.spiritualbnr.org/.

Background music: "Rain Cloud Music" by Emily A. Sprague

Find SBNR episodes and more on the Spiritual But Not Religious website and connect with me on Mastodon and YouTube!

Transcript

0:04

Welcome back to Spiritual but Not Religious with Jill Dominguez. I'm your host, and today I'll be talking about the feelings that accompany the death of a loved one— loss, grief, guilt, and the search for answers. One of the turning points of my own spiritual growth came around the time of the death of my mother. Mom and I were very close, and I was her principal caregiver during her final years. She died in my home in the early morning hours as I was taking a brief respite to sleep. When I returned to her side It was dark and her hand was still warm. It took me a while to realize that she was gone. One of the things that helped me get over the guilt and the pain of my sleeping as she died was a session with my therapist. He helped me detach the negative emotions from the memory of my mother. He helped me bring up an image of Mom waiting for me in a forest glen. I talked with her and she told me how much she loved me and appreciated all that I had done for her. Through this session, I was able to let her go and be at peace. People often search for answers when they lose a loved one. Why did they die now? Would they still be here if I'd done something different? Are they at peace? Will I ever be at peace? Some people turn to grief counselors or therapists, some turn to their priest or pastor, and some turn to spiritual mediums. While I don't really believe in an afterlife like you'd find in a physical heaven or hell, I do believe in the continuity of the energy which dwells in all of us. I've also come to realize the comfort and closure that can be had by speaking with someone spiritually inclined. Recently, I was contacted by the publicist for the author Brandon Wainwright, and they sent me a review copy of Brandon's book called "Tyson's Gift—How an 8-Pound K9 Became a Man's Greatest Spiritual Guide". I'll put a link in the description for those who would like to learn more about Brandon and his book. Reading Brandon's book broadened my horizons a bit. I've had many animal companions during my lifetime and each one of them was considered a part of the family. But I've never felt so connected to an animal as I've felt with my Bella. Well, she was my mother's cat. Bella came to live with me when Mom died. Just knowing how she curled up with Mom, how Mom petted her with the same hands that she used brush my hair when I was a child, and how Bella kept Mom company during those long, hard days leading up to her death. That all comes together and makes me feel especially close to this sweet companion. Brandon's story, as told in the style of a diary through "Tyson's Gift," is a bit more tragic. Brandon had a rough history with the dogs that his mother would randomly bring home. His father would tire of the problems that they caused, so the dogs would not stay long. Later in life, when Brandon's girlfriend adopted a dog named Tyson during a rough patch in their relationship, Brandon felt upset and jealous at first. But he made up his mind to get on Tyson's good side. As the years passed, Tyson's influence helped Brandon mature emotionally. They grew very close. And when Tyson died, Brandon embarked on a search for answers about life and death and what it all means. Through many conversations with pet communicators and spiritual mediums, he finally found the peace he was seeking. Brandon found peace not just regarding Tyson's death, but also regarding his relationships with his parents and friends. He then turned to learning more about spirituality and how he could help others, eventually learning about Reiki and becoming a Reiki practitioner himself. All of this just reminds me that everyone's path is different. Enlightenment itself is not a destination, but a journey. Your individual experiences through life will lead each of you down different pathways towards peace. Everyone will start their own journey at a different point and from a different perspective. But if you persevere, you will experience the joy and peace that comes from a life of giving and accepting love. As the Buddha said in the Dhammapada—"The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. All things arise and pass away. But the awakened awake forever."